


Perfect

by lalois



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Fear, Implied Relationships, Introspection, Late Night Conversations, M/M, One Shot, Songfic, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 21:38:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16710505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalois/pseuds/lalois
Summary: A missing moment taking place in Osaka the day before the last Gr8est replacement concert. A lot of RL snippets mentioned or implied. Partially songfic (I borrowed Ed Sheeran here).





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this "missing moment" a few days ago, a story of hope and feelings of support. Coincidentally enough, Ryo's jweb of today sadly mentions how "the problem" has not been settled at all yet.  
> A few other very personal notes, after the story.

A certain someone looks like being already snuggled up in bed, on the right side, when Ryo joins him after the shower.   
His bed. In his hotel room.  
  
He lays down next to him, encircling his waist with one hand and burying his nose into Ohkura's shirt, against his spine.  
  
_"Ryoc'n, is that you?"_  a sleepy voice murmurs softly, not even shifting.  
_"Who else? You remember sneaking into my room, at least?_ " Ryo asks, feigning indignation.  
  
_"I 'sked for p'mission, th'gh..."_  the drummer retorts.  
_"Of course. And I said-"_ Ryo stops talking suddenly, as if not wishing to repeat that aloud, not even in the intimacy of such a room in the black of night.  
  
He leaves a peck on Ohkura's nape instead, and wonders what else is there for the two of them, for the six of them, for them and for the staff working with them, starting from that day onwards.  
  
They had started their Gr8est live tour out of any good expectations, with Subaru-kun gone and Shota's physical problems, and despite the love and the affection that their fans have showed them throughout all Japan, throughout Taiwan even, they have not gone through all those dates unscathed, in the end.  
Ohkura has ended up being the one hurt the most, in the end, both physically and emotionally speaking. The stalker issue he has to go through... no one knows when it will be all over. Or how, or... the hell. The hell.  
  
_It does fucking hurt._  
  
And to him, this is maybe the wound that, however not bleeding profusely like the Subaru one had, is to leave the deepest of consequences anyway.  
Why him, in the first place?  
  
Ever since Subaru had left them, Ohkura's spirit has proved to be the one keeping them united. And not only just that. He is supposed to be the one by his side especially, both as an explicitly public supporting role and as an implicit bond that no one but the two of them shared.  
He is the one who kept pushing his problems aside in order to think about other people before him, always. In order to make the ones around him feel safe and sound, and loved, and taken care of.  
But now that Ohkura is the one suffering the most, choosing to expose his pain publicly but holing up right afterwards due to the resonance the issue has generated, Ryo feels at a loss.  
Hell knows if he wishes to know what he could do to heal him.  
  
“ _We started being so natural around each other lately that I ended up taking you for granted,_ ” Ryo confesses out of the blue. “ _Taking your smile for granted. Your appetite. Your soft skin… But you're not, Tatsu. Can you forgive me? Not even an inch of you is to be taken for granted. I have been so wrong. Forgive me, if you can._ _”_  
  
Apart from keeping an eye on him, apart from having gathered his other four fellow members and having decided, all together, never to leave him alone. Discreetly, whenever their schedule allows them to.  
  
Ohkura is an independent guy. He has always been. That is one of the reasons why he had left Ryo's apartment, so many years ago, when he had basically proposed to him. To be together always.  
Ryo knows the drummer had not exactly dumped him, back then. He could not say he had not understood his choice; quite the contrary, he would have done the very same. But it still baffles him that a guy like Ohkura had had the guts to reply to him in such a way.  
  
His favourite drummer loves his freedom, and he hates it terribly when things he loves are to be put at stake.  
Ryo can perfectly understand those feelings.  
One more reason to feel so damn angry about those shitty stalkers.  
  
He inhales deeply the laundry scent of Ohkura's shirt, his fingers clutching at the front of such clothes at the same time, on Ohkura's chest. They have gone through so much, lately; they have fought and laughed so much together. Yet there is still a lot that he cannot not do for him. Too much, about his health, when Ohkura deserves only to be happy, to smile forever and ever.  
  
His mind goes to Ohkura's radio show that he has listened to just a couple hours earlier that night, while the other was recording it just a few meters away, in his hotel room. How he had talked about his close relationship with Shota, whose heart is even bigger than the whole Planet Earth.  
How he had laughed it off at his mistakes during the live tour, despite not even mentioning Ryo's name who had been the one sulking and scolding him to do even better, always better.   
  
How he had sheepishly avoided, despite his usual bluntness, telling Takahashi-kun that apart from Shota and Yokoyama-kun's discreet presence, Ryo had been the one he had shared his curry with at the catering service.  
How he had broadcasted Ed Sheeran's Perfect song, as if to tell him in a secret vow that no matter the hardship, no matter how mentally fragile he currently was, his feelings would never change.  
  
_'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_  
 _Not knowing what it was_  
 _I will not give you up this time_  
  
Having him in his arms like that, fast asleep already, it all makes Ryo's heart clench. So strong, he is. Images of the two of them dancing TORN once again, performing it like never before, suddenly floods his mind.  
  
_Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms_  
 _When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath_  
 _But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight_  
 _stronger than anyone I know_  
  
_"Ohkura.._." he murmurs, a lump invading his throat. He can only feel his band mate's light snore as a reply, so he tries again, clearing up his throat, propping himself up on one elbow, to blow his request right on Ohkura's earlobe, tucking gently a few strand of hair away.  
  
_"Tatsu, hey... can you hear me?"_  
  
But no, Ryo decides that in the end, it doesn't matter that much. He kisses Ohkura's earlobe, the silver earring that he had once again forgotten to remove before going to bed, and he nuzzles the brown hair with the tip of his nose.  
  
He finds himself humming the lyrics of the song Perfect, barely audible, just for his longtime friend, his brother, his lover.  
Like a prayer, like a wish, like an eternal thanks.  
  
_We are still kids, but we're so in love_  
 _Fighting against all odds_  
 _I know we'll be alright this time_  
 _Darling, just hold my hand_  
 _I'll be your man_  
 _I see my future in your eyes_  
  
He leaves another tender kiss on Ohkura's cheek.  
_"Shit, Ohkura... I love you. I love you,_ " he whispers slowly, his cheekbone brushing against the drummer's one. He can feel dangerous tears prickling the corners of his eyes, but he doesn't care. Not anymore.  
  
_I don't deserve this_  
 _You look perfect tonight_  
  
"I'm not as strong as Murakami-kun is, you know," he murmurs then, " _I'm not as a good senpai as Subaru-kun was. I'm not the older brother that Yokoyama-kun is to you, and I'm unable to share the tender affection that Shochan grants you anytime. I'm not as outgoing as Maruchan is; he's always able to make you crack up into a loud laughter, while I cannot. I'm this unable, Tatsu. But I will be by your side always. I will always do everything I can in order to protect you, and to be worth to stay beside you. I will."_  
  
He cautiosly slips down by his side, his whole body crawling around Ohkura's warm one like a frail yet unwavering shell.  
_"I promise you won't fall down. I won't let you. Never. Never."_  
  
_listening to our favorite song_  
_I have faith in what I see_  
  
Ryo leans in, until his forehead and nose are pressed against Ohkura's warm and large back.  
His solidity. Their fears. It's all there.  
He will be there for him. He is there for him. Ohkura is peacefully sleeping in his arms despite insomnia starting disorienting him also, after all.  
Not now, though. Ohkura is having some well deserved rest. And he's being well guarded.  
  
The drummer shifts a little in his sleep, and Ryo embraces him loosely from behind, and Ohkura doesn't move anymore.  
  
It's perfect, this moment, Ryo reckons.  
Perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have any wish to talk about Ohkura's stalker issue, since it's a very sad and painful issue.  
> But I have been stalked myself. I hate even having to recall any of those memores, for it's true that those scars do not fade easily, not even with time. Of course I'm not famous nor beautiful nor special in any way, but this can indeed happen to anybody, right out of the blue.  
> What can make the difference is taking that one step further: asking for help. Making people aware of the problem, letting friends surround you and shield you affectionately.  
> With these feelings I wrote this, knowing that if it's true this issue is affecting Ohkura very badly, he is not alone, and he never will. And I am sure that once again this will make the difference.  
> Ganbatte ne, Ohkura!


End file.
